[She smiles a little, though the smile doesn't really reach her eyes. And she's tired enough that she sets the ipad down.]
I hope you don't mind if I just talk, right?
[she runs a hand along the scars on her cheek as she thinks about what he said.]
... The Barghest was definitely going to keep doing worse. I'm glad that it's gone and I never have to think about it again... Except I keep doing that. Remembering those thoughts.
[but is it okay, really? to be a prisoner inside your own body, to have your thoughts and emotions hijacked so thoroughly that it's almost all you can remember of the past week?
given the barghest's violent proclivities?
she smiles softly at where she thinks he's sitting.]
And please don't worry about me. I just need some time to get back up to speed.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Good morning... Is this Yoshi, or Flat?
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i wanted to talk to you again
now that you're you
can i sit?
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[she tucks her hair behind her ears, and pulls her knees into her chest.]
You're probably the reason I'm still alive.
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i'm really happy
we were able to help save someone
i thought i was going to have to sit and watch my friends die
i'm really glad you're still alive makoto!
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I hope you don't mind if I just talk, right?
[she runs a hand along the scars on her cheek as she thinks about what he said.]
... The Barghest was definitely going to keep doing worse. I'm glad that it's gone and I never have to think about it again... Except I keep doing that. Remembering those thoughts.
[her eyes glisten.]
I'm glad we were able to save my friends too.
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[ There's a bit of a shift at the rest of her words however; like he's turning to look at her properly. After a short pause: ]
is it okay if i hug you?
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Thank you, Yoshi.
[she rubs the tears out of her eyes.]
I'm a mess.
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given the barghest's violent proclivities?
she smiles softly at where she thinks he's sitting.]
And please don't worry about me. I just need some time to get back up to speed.
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being dead is really awful
we know so many things but we can't tell anyone
so all we can do is watch
i'm glad we were finally able to help someone
i'm glad we were able to help you!
please keep helping the others once you're healthy again
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[she pauses at that, her fingers digging into her shirt around her elbows.]
... Not that I'm not grateful.
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and... well, you know what it's like
[ Death by barghest is not a fun time. ]
i think i probably tried to tell akira like fifty times but i got censored no matter what i said
because we can't interfere with the "game"
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My memory as the barghest is fuzzy too-- probably for the same reason.
[the parts that she would LIKE to be fuzzy... are not.]
... Do you really think we could trust the Doppelgänger?
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i don't know!
we talked about the letter we got from 34 yesterday
us ghosts, i mean
szayel says we're all guests in the resort so maybe we all need to focus on keeping the resort alive so we don't all die?
and maybe teaming up with the other guests like the doppelling is important for that
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[he can probably see her shiver instinctively at that.]
I think they're being made to play the same game as us, but the Barghest at least had a specific goal. It had to do with the Outsider.
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ichigo says we can still bring everyone back, but it's not like i want to watch people die some more
was the barghest trying to kill the outsider?
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[she swallows.]
The game was incidental, she was just... a combination of my worst instincts and pure evil.
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so that's what he meant by prey!
maybe?
but i wasn't going to be a host or anything
hmmm
we really need to figure out what the outsider's doing
but what do you mean by worst instincts?
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...Um... let's talk about something else. Please forget I said that.
[she's not doing well]
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okay!
it probably doesn't matter anyway
it's gone now
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[the amount of hate and barely contained anger in that one word... sure is something, sorry Yoshi]
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the barghest stinks
:/